Just read http://goldenheartedrose.tumblr.com/post/26266970506/tw-ableism-lots-of-ableism-benedict-cumberbatch-and and am wondering a few things.
[CW: Ableism, mentions of murder and violence]
Why is it insulting to be considered inspiring? People who lack limbs who still carry on with their lives as if they aren’t “missing” ligaments are considered inspiring. Some even become inspirational speakers. I’m not comparing autism to missing a limb, before anyone gets all tichy, nor am I trying to elude autism to missing something. People happen to be different. If a different makes it difficult sometimes to function in the scope of what is considered “normal” why is it considered offensive to be applauded for getting over what seems like to the rest of the world to be an obstacle? It’s a compliment.
And the other question is why it is taboo for parents of autistic children to be applauded any more so than other parents. Let’s face it. Parents do not all deal with the same things. Some parents do not fulfill their duty. To parent isn’t an obligation, it’s a privilege. Some people simply have offspring, they don’t parent in any sense of the word. Therefore when a parent has an especially difficult child, it becomes more impressive if they can still keep their cool and patience compared to a perfect angel who never pokes anything and tries to get on their parent’s last nerve. For all those quick to be sensitive and pick at comparisons, in no way am I trying to compare an autistic child to a difficult one. Again, in the social norm that apparently has a right to exist, they are different. (It also bothers me extremely that I have to clear that up. Why is it assumed that I’m attacking autism as an issue?)
And the last enduring question is this. Why is it so important to have a certain set of terms, to have a certain way of reference, to define certain things? Organizations such as Autism Speaks are painted as the devil. Tell them to fuck off an pay no mind. And the idea of allies is absolutely beautiful…but if you wanted to feel that autistic people (is that the correct term? Again it is worrisome that I’m even concerned about this) should be treated the same way as everyone else, then don’t make any fuss about it and it should subside on it’s own.
But I suppose it hasn’t ever gone away on it’s own, no issue ever has. That again doesn’t make sense. If there should be no difference between treatment of different kinds of people, then there should be no noticeable difference between the behavior of said people. Others respond to different stimuli differently. Is it so awful to be treated differently, and would it be better to have a part of you ignored?
OOOh, look what I found while looking for reciepts of Benedict Cumberbatch being terrible!
I notice you weren’t brave enough to discuss this on, y’know, the actual post referenced. But I found it anyway! And here’s some education in the form of debunking everything you said x amount of time ago.
Why is it insulting to be considered inspiring? People who lack limbs who still carry on with their lives as if they aren’t “missing” ligaments are considered inspiring.
Because that is taking a person’s everyday life and making it about you instead of about them. They aren’t perservering for your benefit. Disabled people do not exist be inspiration porn for able bodied and neurotypical people.
Some even become inspirational speakers.
You know who else become inspirational speakers? Able bodied, neurotypical people. There is nothing inherently inspirational about disabilities any more than there is nothing inherently inspirational about not having any.
I’m not comparing autism to missing a limb, before anyone gets all tichy, nor am I trying to elude autism to missing something.
…if you say so. Because. I mean, you didn’t just look at person saying “hey autism isn’t your inspiration porn” and go “hey but look at how missing limbs = my inspiration porn” and imply that other people being made into inspiration porn means that inspiration porn is okay or anything. That’s totally not what happened. </sarcasm>
If a different makes it difficult sometimes to function in the scope of what is considered “normal” why is it considered offensive to be applauded for getting over what seems like to the rest of the world to be an obstacle?
Because normal is shit.
Because, again, disabled people don’t exist to be your inspiration porn.
Because it creates a judgement about people who need accommodations for their disabilities.
Because society is ableist as hell and avoids accommodating as much and as often as possible.
It’s a compliment.
*You* think it’s a compliment. You’ve just heard from a disabled person who doesn’t agree. And her voices count way more than yours on these matters. (Know why? Because she doesn’t have the privilege of not thinking about these things on a daily basis. Because she’s got the ethos of all of her years on this planet backing her up. And you don’t.)
Oh my god, I can’t even with your parent paragraph.
And the other question is why it is taboo for parents of autistic children to be applauded any more so than other parents.
Because it makes parents of autistic kids think that their lot in life is filled with so much more suffering that it’s okay when they ~can’t handle it anymore~ and kill their kid.
Because it makes reporters portray murderers sympathetically.
Because it makes juries think that murders of autistics are justified because they cause ~so much suffering~.
You think that escalated quickly? You think I’m exaggerating? I WISH.
There are DOZENS of stories like this one. They are HEARTBREAKING but it’s not because it’s ~hard on normal parents~
Or at least, by god it shouldn’t be.
To parent isn’t an obligation, it’s a privilege.
._. You’re right, a parent can 100% give kids up for adoption. But once they’ve chosen not to do that? IT DAMN WELL BECOMES AN OBLIGATION. The fact that there are terrible parents out there DOESN’T MEAN they’re not obligated to do better, and in fact makes it all the more tragic for the kids who are abused. LIKE AUTISTICS ARE.
Therefore when a parent has an especially difficult child, it becomes more impressive if they can still keep their cool and patience compared to a perfect angel who never pokes anything and tries to get on their parent’s last nerve.
No children are perfect angels. All of them are especially difficult.
No children are perfect angels. Even if they’re neurotypical.
No children are perfect angels. No parents are always going to keep their cool or their patience.
AND. NO CHILDREN ARE *TRYING* TO GET ON THEIR PARENTS’ LAST NERVE. WHAT EVEN.
Parenthood is never a walk in the park and no parent is ever ready for everything that this new kid is going to put them through EVEN IF THE KID IS NEUROTYPICAL AND ABLE BODIED AND HAS A MAGICAL IMMUNE SYSTEM SO THEY NEVER GET SICK.
For all those quick to be sensitive and pick at comparisons, in no way am I trying to compare an autistic child to a difficult one.
Oh my god, you say this and yet you ask why it’s bad that you think parents of autistic kids should be applauded for ‘[keeping’ their cool and patience’ because it’s ‘more impressive.’ YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOU’RE NOT MAKING THESE COMPARISONS, BUT YOU JUST OBJECTIVELY *ARE.* IT’S RIGHT THERE. YOU CAN’T JUST PRETEND IT’S NOT BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO GET CALLED ON IT.
(It also bothers me extremely that I have to clear that up. Why is it assumed that I’m attacking autism as an issue?)
You didn’t ‘clear that up,’ you lied. Good job.
Why is it so important to have a certain set of terms, to have a certain way of reference, to define certain things?
I don’t…even? So that we can talk to one another? So we can further discourse and point out what’s bad about the world we live in and why it’s bad and figure out something better? Duh?
If there should be no difference between treatment of different kinds of people, then there should be no noticeable difference between the behavior of said people.
I don’t even know what you’re reading anymore. As far as I am aware, and call me on this if I am wrong, AUTISTICS DON’T WANT TO BE TREATED SUBHUMAN. There’s a difference between wanting accomodation so that you can deal with the world (which many autistics need and, y’know, should be able to get) and WANTING TO BE TREATED EQUALLY.
BEHAVIOR CAN NEVER, NEVER NEGATE PERSONHOOD.*
Others respond to different stimuli differently. Is it so awful to be treated differently, and would it be better to have a part of you ignored?
Again, I don’t know where you’re interpretting this from. Autistics, as far as I am aware, would be fine being understood to be autistic IF SOCIETY AT LARGE DIDN’T SHIT ON THEM WHEN IT FOUND OUT.
*One might be a *terrible* person and/or do something awful and get arrested. But that doesn’t make that person not a person anymore.
(The reason I removed this from the argument I’m making is for god’s sakes do not start trying to tell me that autistics are terrible people who do terrible things because they’re autistic because THE STATISTICS DISAGREE WITH YOU. People with disabilities are assumed to be the ones committing violent crimes when in fact they’re generally the victims of them.)
If OP had reblogged my actual post instead of making their own, I might have actually been given the chance to argue the points. The whole post seems pretty passive aggressive, as though they don’t REALLY want to talk about it.
Anyway, I don’t really have the spoons to deal with it tonight.
But Minionier pretty much covered it anyhow.
I have an ASAN hoodie in transit and wanna put my title on the back. Except I don’t have a title exactly.
Official troublemaker? Radical Neurodivergent (taken from the name of my blog but w/e)? Aggro Magnet? That One That Makes The Rest Of Us Sound Reasonable? Parental Hate Target? The One Who Will Not Let You Forget Unatoned For Fuck-Ups?
titles are hard…
Aggro Magnet OMG xD
if you support a ‘cure’ for autistic people, I really don’t think we should be friends.
i’ve seen a couple different posts about this today. i have no idea how to feel about it. i know nothing about autism. i’ve always gotten the idea that autism is a disorder that causes problems with social interactions and things like that. and i don’t know if autistic people think that looking for a cure is offensive, or if this is just people without autism going on a new social justice kick. Can anyone with autism chime in here?
The only thing I can think as of now, and I don’t know if this is a fair comparison, is that if someone found a cure for depression, I’d be all for it. On the other hand, if someone tried to find a ‘cure’ for being trans*, I would be incredibly offended. So I have no idea what to think.
I’m gonna bet most of the posts you saw about this were by autistic people. I don’t really have the energy to say much more than that, today. For future reference, there’s a tag, #actuallyautistic, that is for posts by autistic tumblr users on autism, so you can go there to uh…find us. And a lot of autistic tumblr users have taken the time to provide a lot of really great resources regarding autism if you want to go learn something about it.
The author of this post has a PhD in biology & a family all decked out in autism & is approaching the subject from the “actually read and understood the research” PoV.
Mostly it’s about how the rationale for the trial is pants.
This is good news, yes.
Also, just a reminder (because of some things I’ve seen on my dash, but has nothing to do with the OP) that regardless of how much this is unlikely to happen, it’s still OKAY to be terrified? It’s still okay to experience anxiety and that you’re not a bad person for that happening?
^^I agree with this completely (and am terrified everytime things like this hit the news…which is why reading articles that understand the science & say it’s pants are a coping mechanism that helps me).
Right there with y’all on the anxiety & anger & upset.
When I said I am always scared of this I meant that very literally…
They are always working on this kind of shit. All that money donated to Autism Speaks isn’t going nowhere. There is always some group of allistic people, somewhere, being payed to work out how to get rid of us in a way that won’t make people bat an eyelid. I can never forget that. I’m sure I’m not the only one. It’s a fact we all live with, as autistic people, that there are people out there who not only think we don’t have the same rights they do, but are actively working to get rid of us.
And I know a lot of us have good reason to be afraid on a very personal level about this particular trial…because it is something that could be forced on many of us. Because there is never any way of knowing which way the wind will blow when it comes to the government and disabled people, because it’s very, very easy to convince people that an adult that doesn’t act the same way they do, is not able to make decisions for themselves. Even better if that adult has trouble speaking out in a way society values…all the easier to silence them and say, look, they do not speak for themselves, so they must also not think for themselves, we need to help them.
I am not, personally, afraid for myself, yet…I don’t think this ‘cure’ will reach that level. Because there is no science behind it. It won’t work.
But there was no science or logic behind the vaccine ‘link’. And we all know how that went.
So right now I am afraid for the children whose parents will be scared into hasty decisions…I’m afraid the data of this trial will be ‘misinterpreted’. I’m afraid desperate parents will hear that their child has been taken from them by autism, and this treatment is the only way to get them back, and autistic children will be subjected to an unnecessary and ineffective medical procedure by the fistful, and then when they don’t improve they’ll be told that they are the problem, the ‘cure’ works, why aren’t they improving?
I am terrified because people like these ‘researchers’ have shown no shame in profiting off of alarmist tactics and the torture of autistic children, and it’s happening all over again and each time it happens it refreshes that beast that lurks in the back of society’s mind, the beast of fear, that makes people hurt autistic children like this. And it sets progress back and eats a few (or a lot) more children.
I guess what I’m saying is I’m afraid of fear itself. Other people’s fear, obviously, because that is just as important as one’s own fear. And what it means when society at large breaths a collective, if somewhat uncertain, sigh of relief, every time someone says ‘we’ve found a cure for autism!’
dub-con, non-con, trigger warnings and you: a post about how not to do it wrong.
What it says on the tin. Before I begin, please note the following things:
a) I’m using the Stiles/Derek ship as a template here, because that’s what I’m currently reading heavily, and where I’m seeing a lot of stuff that indicates this kind of clarification is needed! However, the stuff that I am saying applies to like, fandom and writing in general; the Stiles/Derek thing is just, you know, the convenient entrance point. This isn’t “Ugh Sterek is evil,” or “Ugh people are writing Sterek wrong,” or even actually ABOUT Sterek at all. Sterek’s just the template. Capiche?
b) As ever, this isn’t me trying to dictate opinions, or shame anybody, or make anybody feel shitty. About anything. This is in fact me, as a rape and assault survivor myself, pressing on in my constant mission to get as much HONEST INFORMATION AND DISCUSSION out there about these topics as possible!
c) The auto-correct on my computer keeps switching the word “uncoerced” to “uncorked.” Think I caught them all, but if you see an “uncorked” in here somewhere, rest assured that’s what happened, goddamn.
d) Obviously, this post comes with serious trigger warnings for discussion (and illustrative, written examples) of dub-con, non-con, and rape culture. Also, there’s (written) porn in this post! Illustrative…example…porn? So, you know, be warned about that too.
So, with that said, let’s talk about trigger warnings, call outs, dub-con, non-con, and why only you can prevent forest fires! (Okay, fine. Not really that last one.)
Very good stuff from gyzym as always~
hey, so you know that tumblr post going around about how you can block specific anons, check your block list and see who it is?
well, it worked….
Yes, I’m aware. I’m not condoning it – I like to think that nobody should be oppressed, told to kill themselves, or subjected to slurs. I like to think that everyone should be treated equally and shouldn’t have to be afraid of being hurt emotionally or physically for who they are or what they believe. Calling me an abuser or saying that I use “abuser logic” therefore offends me, but hey. I’m not entitled to comment on that without being told to kill myself, because this is the internet.
Yes, plenty of trans* people are unjustly harassed for being who and what they are, are not, whatever. Unfortunately, so are non-trans* people. So are every kind of people. This isn’t justifying it, but when trans* individuals choose to harass non-trans* people or even other trans*people, it doesn’t help. I’ve been lurking on tumblr for a fairly long length of time now, and the vast majority of hate speech and death threats I see come from trans* people. Non-trans* people also say terrible things, I won’t deny that, but so far the most violent speech I’ve seen comes from those that identify as trans*. That’s just corroborating a problem that’s always been out there. Giving anyone the ability to see who someone is when they post as anon puts everyone in danger, regardless of orientation, gender identity, race, religion, etc. Seeing as how I’ve seen two non-trans* phobic people harassing everyone else for every transphobic individual I’ve seen threatening someone, I’m worried.
I’m sorry that you’ve been through a lot; I really am. However, this doesn’t stop me from thinking that this feature in the hands of the rabid trans* community – the trans* individuals that gaslight, harass, and beat down all those not like them in the name of “protecting themselves” or “equality” or “justice” – is a very, very dangerous thing. Those too scared to speak except in anonymous posts, regardless of intent or opinion, are now at risk of being attacked. I believe that the attacks will come more from trans* individuals than non-trans* individuals.
…Okay I’m not sure if you’re really not understanding how this feature works or if you’re intentionally having a complete logic fail here so I’m going to explain it.
It doesn’t give ‘anyone’ the ability to see who someone is ‘when they post anon’. It gives a person the ability to COMPLETELY BLOCK someone if they receive an anonymous message from that person. Which includes block them when they are off anon as well.
This ‘tool’ only applies to someone who is sending anonymous messages to people who might have reason to block them.
So unless you are sending anon hate to trans* people and are worried about being found out, you literally have nothing to worry about in that regard. Random people cannot find out who you are from anon messages you submit to tumblrs they do not own.
Or do you think trans* people are like…infiltrating radfem tumblrs and posing as mods so they can block people and therefor find out their usernames to…mount attacks against them…IDK this is a really convoluted conspiracy theory but it’s the only thing that makes sense here.
I’m not going to touch the rest of that, because I’m obviously not going to get you to join the rest of us here in reality just by talking to you. Thanks to your cis* privilege, you can stay in la-la land where trans* people are a bigger threat to cis* people than vice versa for as long as you’re comfortable with. So…enjoy that.
Reading this, I was on the verge of realizing that I apparently misunderstood the implications of this feature and apologizing for it. See, I was worried that even though the feature worked by blocking, other SJ bloggers would take the information of who the person was an harass them, seeing as how abuse justifies abuse on the internet.
Then, you assumed my gender identity and decided that it was justifiable cause for implying I’m both incapable of making logical decisions and stupid. Not only that, but you adopted a particularly obnoxious psuedo-flippant tone that is both condescending and not flattering on your part.
This is why your movement will not reach the light of the real world, I think. Like the modern-day Republican party, you and your compatriots will find that distancing those who offend you unintentionally will not gain you allies, but only enemies or at best apathetic bystanders. I would have apologized to you and to ths, had I not been reminded of how little a “cis* person“‘s opinion and experiences matter to tumblr trans* individuals.
Yeah, that’s definitely a possibility, but again, it’s only a concern…for people who are actively harassing other people. Thus my confusion, because I cannot see any way in which sending anon hate to a particular person is anybody’s last defense against something. And even if that were to rebound on someone like that, that person could always…block the SJ bloggers and others attacking them, seeing as it is, in fact, possible to block somebody completely now.
Basically, I am not understanding how you could interpret a purely defensive feature as something that could be used to attack innocent people.
I didn’t imply any of those things, nor am I sure where you got this ‘tone’ from, considering my attitude at the time was one of resignment more than anything else. I assumed you were cis* because you refer to trans* people as ‘you’, i.e., not including yourself. I didn’t assume anything about your gender identity, although I suppose I did assume you were a radfem based on what others were saying, and if I was wrong about that, I apologize.
I have no idea what on earth you think the ‘trans* movement’ is. Many of the things I hope to accomplish as a trans* person - to live my life, and find loved ones who accept me for who I am, primarily - have already seen ‘the light of the real world’. As for the rest - legislation that treats me as human rather than other, for example - yes, allies are important for that, but I can’t strongarm someone into being an ally. Considering you had concluded trans* people are /inherently violent/ long before I even spoke to you, I certainly couldn’t have convinced /you/ to be an ally, which was my point…and honestly, I think that you knew that? You can’t honestly think that I dismiss people out of hand for being cis*. You have my words right there, you see what I said. You know what you said. You had already ruled me - and people I know who are at very high risk of being assaulted and killed by cis* people - part of a violent-minded subgroup. As a member of that subgroup, there is nothing I can do to change your mind; you’ve already dismissed me out of hand. I was lamenting that.
Also, I wasn’t looking for an apology. You don’t have to apologize for misunderstanding a feature of a website. I was hoping to help you out because you seemed pretty freaked, and if the feature worked as I was interpreting your post to say, then yes, it /would/ be a problem.